The comedian caused a security panic when he stormed onto the catwalk Thursday, interrupting designer Agatha Ruiz de la Prada’s show in Milan. Cohen jumped on stage dressed up as his Austrian model character, Bruno, the subject of his latest mockumentary film. He then made his way down the catwalk, past the other models, and was wearing so many layers of clothing he could have been modeling for the Olsen twins’ collection! And, after he refused to leave, police had to be called in.

This is most likely going to appear in his upcoming movie, Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Male.

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of “an intoxicated male” urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement. When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, “grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts,” the statement said. Dick was identified by the teenager and a witness, police said. Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared “extremely intoxicated,” police said.

You can read the Police Report at TSG!

R. Kelly was acquitted of all charges Friday after less than a day of deliberations in his child pornography trial, ending a six-year ordeal for the R&B superstar. Kelly dabbed his face with a handkerchief and hugged each of his four attorneys after the verdict — not guilty on all 14 counts — was read. The Grammy award-winning singer had faced 15 years in prison if convicted. Minutes later, surrounded by bodyguards, he left the courthouse without comment. Dozens of fans screamed and cheered as he climbed into a waiting SUV.

The lawyer for 50 Cent’s baby mama, Shaniqua Tompkins, tells TMZ that she heard “someone” come into the house this morning at 4 AM, shortly before the fire broke out around a hour later. Paul Catsandonis, Shaniqua’s lawyer, tells us that his client is “traumatized” by the fire and that the kids are similarly in total shock. Six people, including Tompkins and their 10-year-old son Marquise, were in the house. They all were transported to the hospital and treated for smoke inhalation.

A photo of the house on fire

The aftermath

The house is worth $1.4M. Shaniqua said, “He’s upset. If he can’t have it, no one can. He said that he was gonna have somebody come kill me and watch what he does, and this is what he did.” Does this remind you of the song “Forgot About Dre” by Eminem and Dre? Lyrics: “Me and dre stood next to a burnt down house / Wit a can full of gas and a hand full of matches / And still weren’t found out.”

Police this week learned of the sickening incident while investigating an unrelated credit card theft allegedly pulled off by the three defendants, each of whom was arrested Wednesday and charged with abusing a corpse, a misdemeanor. Kevin Jones (left) and Matthew Gonzalez, both 17, posed for the mug shots you’ll find above. Court records identify the third grave desecrator as Matthew Rule, 16. The May 7 probable cause affidavit, filed in Harris County District Court, does not indicate why the teens dug up the body of Willie Simms, a child who reportedly died in the 1920s.

Here is a transcription of the probable cause document:

PROBABLE CAUSE

YOUR AFFIANT, JIM ADKINS IS A PEACE OFFICER WITH THE HOUSTON POLICE DEPARTMENT. AFFIANT HAS REASON TO BELIEVE AND DOES BELIEVE MATTHEW RULE, MATTHEW GONZALEZ AND KEVIN JONES HEREAFTER REFERRED TO AS DEFENDANTS, WHO COMMITTED THE MISDEMEANOR OFFENSE OF ABUSE OF A CORPSE AT 600 PM 1960 EAST IN HUMBLE, HARRIS COUNTY, TEXAS.

AFFIANT BASES HIS BELIEF ON THE FOLLOWING:

ON OR ABOUT THE DATE OF MARCH 15, 2008 IN THE INCORPORATED CITY LIMITS OF HUMBLE, HARRIS COUNTY TEXAS, THE LISTED DEFENDANTS DUG UP A GRAVE SITE AND KNOCKED THE HEAD STONE DOWN OF THE DECEASED TO THE GROUND IN AN ATTEMPT TO DECAPATE [sic] A CORPSE. DEFENDANT, WITHOUT LEGAL AUTHORITY, KNOWINGLY DISTURBED A HUMAN CORPSE, NAMELY THE CORPSE OF WILLIE SIMMS.

Sean Bell, his fiancee Nicole Paultre, and their daughter

The incident is interesting, for the following facts:

• Bell had been arrested once for a firearms possession
• Joseph Guzman and Trent Benefield were arrested at least once for illegal firearm possession
• Sean Bell, according to a toxicology report, was drunk at the time of the shooting
• One of Bell’s friends was heard to say “yo, get my gun” as they left the club
• Sean Bell ran into an unmarked police minivan before the shooting
• Officer Michael Oliver fired thirty one times
• The three police officers, Gescard Isnora, Michael Oliver, and Marc Cooper, waived the right to Jury trial

After the shooting, Michael Bloomberg said “it sounds to me like excessive force was used.” Ice Cube noted that “this is just another example that the justice system in America views a black life as worthless,” while rapper Chamillionaire said:

I’m sure a lot of people are as disappointed with this verdict as I am. It scares me to know what type of power is given to people who are supposed to be protecting us from harm. It seems like they are all just protecting themselves. The verdict sends a terrible message to people across the nation who already don’t have faith in the law or our justice system. It will be hard for people to see this as anything other than a case of police protection.

The Rev. Al Sharpton called the verdict an “abortion of justice.” And while the police of New York city are getting more violent as time goes on–in the name of anti-terrorism, of course–a combination of perceived threat and noncooperation by the deceased are all that is to blame here. Unfortunately, in the 21st century, if you don’t follow a police officer’s precise orders, he has every right to shoot and kill you. That’s something that has to change.

Last October T.I. was arrested in Atlanta when one of his bodyguards allegedly tried to purchase guns for him. T.I., who isa convicted felon, cannot legally buy firearms. For each count, he faced a maximum of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Mark Zuckerberg photographed drinking

Zuckerberg drinking beer

Zuckerberg and current girlfriend Priscilla Chan

Facebook Office Party!!!!

A very PR looking shot of Mark

It’s too bad that 24 is on hold for season 7 because of the writer’s strike. Season 6 was awful and they need to get it right in the future!

Al Gore III was released after posting $20,000 bail. “He does not have a prescription for any of those drugs,” Orange County Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jim Armormino said.