The Gossip Rag: Celebrity life, photos, gossip, and news

The “Greatest Rapper Alive” Lil’ Wayne has appeared in a Public Service Announcement (PSA) for J-Prince’s Strapped Condoms line:

While critics are complaining that the advertisement is plagued by homosexual undertones, I think Lil’ Wayne has got the right idea here. HIV is a big problem in the black American and homosexual communities, and anything he can do to spread awareness is right. XXLMag talks about it a little more:

Launched by the Rap-A-Lot Records founder in 2005, Strapped has embarked on a campaign to educate youth in identifying high risk behavior patterns that contribute to the continuous spread of HIV & sexually transmitted diseases. “In the midst of this crisis where HIV & AIDS is the #1 killer where our race of people is concerned, I salute Lil Wayne as an authority figure for taking a stand to inform our people to use Strapped Condoms & to Stay Strapped for Life,” J-Prince said in a statement announcing the effort.

We’re not satisfied with Akon’s song Sorry, Blame It On Me, which you can listen to online in mp3. First, the drum beats and backing are so cheesy we know he hacked this up in a day for publicities sake, not because he actually is sorry. Second, check out what the lyrics are:

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

Tranlsation: I’m Akon, and because I’m not sorry, I’m absolving myself for the stuff that hasn’t even happened yet. That’s right, the scandals I cause in the future are ok–I’m apologizing now! But, it gets better:

I’m sorry I’m not always there for my son
I’m sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday

I’m sorry I’m a deadbeat dad and lousy husband, but I’m keeping it real! I’m real in the streets! I don’t need no family!

I understand that there are some problems
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

A good translation of this line from Akonglish to English would realize that it’s a not-so-subtle way of proclaiming “This is how it is; you better learn to live with it, because it’s how I am.” Well, Akon may be able to say “Blame me” and not give a shit, but we know better. This song isn’t a real apology, it’s a sham.

Cracked has an awesome list of terrible rappers, but they don’t go nearly far enough. They miss a few obvious ones that are definitely worth a laugh. After all, we’ve got 20 years of glorious rap history to paw through, and one post isn’t nearly enough to get all the terribly named rappers!

Beat-n-Azz (aka Mr. Collipark, DJ Smurf, and Michael Crooms)

So, it’s either a blonde dog, a mule accustomed to harsh punishment, or a blue sexless cartoon. I’m not sure why he chose the name for himself, fashioning it after “college park” where he once lived, but it’s clear this rapper can’t spell and doesn’t know much about animal life.

Too Short

It’s bad enough it’s spelled “Too $hort.” But we’re not sure if this rapper is pimping his personal endowment or his height. Modesty in a gangster rapper? Unheard of.

MC Ren

With a real name of Lorenzo Jerald Patterson, we can’t imagine how he came to the Chinese word ren (人) get in his rapper name. Ren literally means “person,” so he is just MC Person. This is ok if you want to be more generic than anybody. Come on, stunt a lil!

Lil’ Keke

The names starting lil’ automatically means a bad start, but Lil’ Keke’s name has been abused by Starcraft players to indicate a ZERG RUSH!!!!!!

Fat Joe

Just because you weight at least 300 pounds does not a rapper make you. And, there’s no reason to put it into your name. Why not something more creative, like “Joe the Crusher,” or even “Juicy Joe” or “Joe Joe.” LOL.

Swizz Beatz

Swizzy, we love you, but even Jon Steward thought you were the manufacturer of “Swiss Beats.” Imported. From Switzerland. It’s just too much ambiguity for our rap-soaked brains to take in all at once.

Tony Yayo, a member of rap group G-Unit (along with 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks, and Young Buck), pleaded not guilty to “harassment and endangering the welfare of a child.” Yayo, whose real name is Marvin Bernard, is accused of slapping and hitting a 14-year-old boy. Yayo was released Sunday on $5,000 bail.

What kind of man needs to rough up 14 year old boys? We can understand Michael Jackson, who just loves them too much, but Yayo’s supposed by a tough thug. Apparently he’s just the street bully.

Snoop Doggy Dogg has been denied a visa to visit the UK on tour. The poor aging rapper got arrest last year at Heathrow International Airport for causing a “disturbance.”

According to popcrunch, the concert with Puff Daddy, aka P. Diddy, aka Sean Combs, aka Sean John, will continue without Snoop. It takes place at Wembley Arena, London this Tuesday!!