Suri Cruise Birth Certificate!
TMZ somehow got a copy of Tom Cruise and Katie Holme’s first born daughter Suri Cruise’s birth certificate. If you don’t believe that she exists, now is the time to stop doubting:

According to TMZ, there were several irregularities in the birth certificate:
In this case, Suri was born on April 18 but the certificate was not filed until May 8, 20 days later. An official from the hospital told TMZ that the delay occurred because they needed a signature from the parents or a representative of the parents certifying birth, and that person did not come in until May 4. The person who signed is labeled “friend.” The signature is not legible.
However, it now seems much more likely that Suri Cruise isn’t just a figment of our imagination!
Shiloh beats out Suri Cruise in worth
According to a FOX news report this morning, the reason we haven’t seen Suri Cruise at all is because nobody was willing to pay $4 million to print pictures of her! One has to wonder what kind of ugly monster she’s gotta be…
The article adds:
According to my sources, a photo shoot of Suri was offered to Wire Image, the prestigious agency, for sale to the various celebrity magazines right after the little “Mission: Impossible”/”Dawson’s Creek” tyke was born in silence to her unmarried movie star parents Tom Cruise and the dazed-looking Katie Holmes. An auction was conducted, with People, US Weekly, Star and the lesser names like In Touch all putting in their two cents.
But apparently the bids weren’t enough for TomKat. The article writes, “The Cruise auction is said to have produced not more than a $3 million bid. At that point, the offer was rescinded.” So basically since they couldn’t fetch a nice sum for their baby, they’ve taken to hiding her in the house out of embarassment. Wow. This is after Tom Cruise tried to simultaneously congratulate Angelina Jolie on Shiloh and convert her to Scientology. Speaking of Scientology, apparently had the pictures of Suri Cruise been properly auctioned, the Church would have gotten a cut:
Exactly who from Cruise’s strange inner circle initiated the contact is still unknown, although I am told the enterprise was “official.” It’s likely that the Church of Scientology would have gotten a cut, too, considering they like to take 10 percent of everything from their celebrity clients.
The article also claims that Shiloh’s $4 mil is probably the highest price baby pictures will fetch for a long time:
“Shiloh was the whole deal,” my source said. “We won’t see a baby like that again for a while.”
Just imagine what poor little Suri Cruise will have to face when she meets Shiloh one day.
Update: Contrary to the above report that Suri Cruise photos weren’t sold for $3 million, Tom Cruise is now apparently saying that his Scientology beliefs wouldn’t let him bring the newborn outside, anyway. The article writes:
It has now been claimed Tom is reluctant to show off Suri because Scientology doctrine teaches followers of the sci-fi cult to avoid taking newborn babies out unless absolutely necessary.
A friend of the actor told Britain’s Grazia magazine: “Tom insists he’ll do it in his own time. He won’t be bullied into showing his world his precious angel. Tom wants to obey Scientology rules about keeping babies out of … the public eye.”
Tom Cruise wants 10 children
Apparently Tom Cruise is so happy with Suri that he wants 9 more children — or so he said at a press conference in Tokyo yesterday while promoting Mission Impossible: 3. He said:
I always wanted to be a father. I remember my whole life, I wanted to be a father. So I’m hoping maybe I have 10 children.
These extra 9 children would be in addition to the two adopted children he had with ex-wife Nicole Kidman. The press also asked him about his Father’s Day, and he had this to say:
It was the best Father’s Day … I think you all know how, what a gift it is, children. [sic]
The question remains: will Cruise also keep his other nine locked away like he’s done with Suri? Whether or not he was joking about having more kids, the public is still dying to know the outcome of the first. He claims he loves his children and is even feeling particularly fatherly nowadays:
I feel the responsibility of that, because they are the future. So I feel so overwhelmed with emotion at times when I look at my children, which I think we all know when you are looking at your own child you love so much.
Well, maybe too much public scrutiny is bad for a youngster, but just a few pictures can’t hurt. It’s even made Brangelina’s Shiloh Nouvel a fashion icon. So come on, Tom, give us a peek.
TomKat readying for baby number two
Brangelina sells pictures of Shiloh for reportedly $4 million to People magazine, the internet gets ahold of them first, People sues, and you know the rest of the story. Given all this commotion, one must still wonder, where is TomKat’s baby daughter Suri Cruise? She was born nearly two months ago but we still don’t have a single picture of her!
But never mind all that, because it appears Tom and Katie have already started preparing for their second child. We’re told they’ve planned to have at least two or three kids. One source explains their reasoning:
Tom and Katie are so thrilled with Suri that they want to have a second baby right away. Before Suri’s birth they talked about having two or three kids — and they don’t want to wait.
Another source added:
Katie was really scared of becoming a mom. She didn’t know what to expect and she was worried that she’d be overwhelmed by all the responsibilities. But she’s loving every minute of being home with Suri. Katie isn’t at all concerned with getting back to work.
What a surprise. If you were being paid $33 million, would you mind having Tom Cruise’s babies? Congratulations, Katie, you’ve completely redefined what it means to be a trophy wife!
Katie Holmes’ Sex Scene A Go

Although the sultry sex scene from Thank You For Smoking was cut from its other screenings, such as Sundance, (some say at the request of Tom Cruise, her new husband), it’s back for release to theatres. Directory Jason Reitman is quoted by LSE on the scene:
“It’s humorous humping! It’s Kate and Aaron gyrating back and forth.”
Now we know that moviegoers around America will be able to enjoy the same things as Tom Cruise. Well, not really, because it’s apparently humourous, not titillating. Reitman’s quoted again, though, pointing us in the right, er wrong, direction to go looking for more Katie Holmes photos:
“If you want to see a sex scene with Katie Holmes, rent ‘The Gift’”
In The Gift she appears nude, baring her breasts in the scene in which she is about to be killed. The photo (censored to the right) is not particularly scandalous or engaging, except to someone who finds mammaries taboo. However, with Tom’s protective sheltering of his wife, we shouldn’t be expecting Katie Holmes to star in any indecent scenes in the recent future.
For more information on this actress, see the Katie Holmes IMDB page!