On Saturday, the day before the VMAs, Spears was scheduled to arrive at rehearsal at around 1 p.m. Our spy said, “She didn’t even get to Las Vegas until 4:30 p.m. It was ridiculous . . . The production people at MTV were freaking out . . . Nobody can tell Britney what to do anymore. No one can control her. She is a mess.”

I say that you just need to take a look at her to see she is no longer the bright, young, motivated, sexy pop starlet she was before K-Fed:

We’re hoping her new album is good, but I hear there’s more machine in it than there is Britney…

Unfortunately since the photographs are fairly low resolution we can’t do error-order analysis to determine exactly what got photoshopped where. In real life these days, Britney does not look like this, which is a problem for young people everywhere; they don’t have a chance to realize that their stars are just old, tired, worn out bodies that look worse than they do.

If this is true, expect a quick and quiet coverup! The last entry on her website diary at jamielynnspears.com reads:

It has been a super busy summer for me. We are almost finished with the summer filming of Zoey. I can’t wait for everyone to see the new episodes!!! My family and some friends just came to L.A. to visit me. We mostly shopped lots. We also went to see the play, Wicked. It was so good.

Update: Apparently it was just a scare. According to the Australian rag NW, “Britney told Jamie Lynn she’d help her with anything she needed. She promised to keep her secret and not say anything.” Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy tests came back negative, so her boyfriend Casey Aldridge is safe!

The Daily Star reports that a close friend told Britney:

“Britney’s furious these photos have become public. She never dreamed they’d be leaked. She’s concerned the photos will damage her credibility and just make her look trashy. She’s concentrating on her career and this draws the focus from her music.”

Here’s the full uncensored picture. I say “uncensored” but it’s totally just a PG-type glamour shot. Her music videos are WORSE:

I wonder who took the shot? Kevin Federline? One of her lovers? An ex-husband? Justin TIMBERLAKE perhaps!??!?! Anyway, here are two more:

These will probably have to deleted sooner or later…

According to Star Magazine, they had a conversation like this:

Britney Spears: “Do you really want to do this?”
K-Fed: “Yes.”
Britney Spears: “You’re the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, but thank you for my babies.”

Kevin is also prohibited from writing a book about the experience, but he gets the kids and a ton of cash:

• A 2004 pre-nup called for K-Fed to get $250,000 for each year of their marriage, but Spears upped that figure to $500,000 to speed up the negotiations.
• He receives half the proceeds from their Malibu mansion, which is on the market for $13.5 million.
• $25,000 a month in child support for each of the couple’s two children until they reach 18. He also gets custody of the boys four days a week.
• Federline gets to keep all the gifts Spears bought them during their marriage.
• He’s forbidden from writing a tell-all about their marriage.

Kevin Federline is trying to hook himself up with a Reality TV Show about how his life is crazy with a celebrity ex-wife, bad rap albums, child support, and little Fed-ex Tater Tots.

Britney Spears’ Hair For Sale On Ebay

The sale also offers her bic lighter and 3/4 can of red bull, left abandoned on the scene:

!!!!BRITNEY SPEARS HAIR!!!! (and extensions) PLUS Her Redbull and Bic Lighter

You have heard the story on the news… No need to repeat it here.

This is the auction you have been waiting for. I am selling the hair as well as the 3/4 full can of Redbull she was drinking and her blue Bic Lighter. I am selling this on behalf of Esther and her family. We are offering it for sale here at what we feel is a realistic price. This is a piece of history that can not be duplicated.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC. THIS IS NOT A SCAM. BUYER IS ENCOURAGED TO DO A LOCAL PICK UP IN TARZANA, CALIFORNIA AND MEET WITH ME AND ESTHER. ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC AND THIS IS THE ONLY REAL LISTING. I THINK THE PICTURES SAY IT ALL.

Payment is to be made by cash, money order or cashiers check ONLY. NO PAYPAL. Due to the unique nature and high value of these items, buyer is to be responsible for any shipping arrangements. Local pick up is highly encouraged.

Update: Their new page is buy britneys hair dot com, where you can buy Britney Spears’ genuine hair. All the others on ebay are frauds, scams, hacks, etc.

When you combine the two, it’s really quite horrible:

We’re going to call it “Breminem” and then pretend we didn’t make you just look at this. More in various other blogs.

According to ABC news, she did the shave herself:

The magazine said that after arriving in Los Angeles, Spears headed for a Tarzana salon and asked that a stylist cut off all her hair. When the stylist refused, Spears grabbed the clippers and did it herself. She then wound up at the tattoo parlor, where she spent $80 to have two tattoos applied — a black-white-and-pink cross on her lower hip and red-and- pink lips on her wrist.

X17 has some nice half-shaven photos of Britney, but their site is overloaded at the moment:

All of America is weeping for your lost hair, Britney! Here’s what other blogs have to say:

• I have to admit, I sort of like what she has done with herself.
• Is the troubled pop star finally crashing at the bottom?
• Britney Spears is a Bald Headed Nightmare

Here’s another photo of her new, bald head we found floating around the net:

Youtube has some video footage from a news station:

It’s got the best line ever:

FEDERLINE!!! What? FRIES!!!!

Wouldn’t YOU just love to tell Mr. Ex-Spears to go make more fries? You know you would!