The Gossip Rag: Celebrity life, photos, gossip, and news

The National Enquirer allegedly reports that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. As you all know, this is Britney Spears’ little sister, and given what runs in their family, the story is 100% plausible. If this is true, we’re sorry for everyone involved, including the entire Spears family, and the poor unfortunate guy who managed to knock her up.

If this is true, expect a quick and quiet coverup! The last entry on her website diary at jamielynnspears.com reads:

It has been a super busy summer for me. We are almost finished with the summer filming of Zoey. I can’t wait for everyone to see the new episodes!!! My family and some friends just came to L.A. to visit me. We mostly shopped lots. We also went to see the play, Wicked. It was so good.

Update: Apparently it was just a scare. According to the Australian rag NW, “Britney told Jamie Lynn she’d help her with anything she needed. She promised to keep her secret and not say anything.” Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy tests came back negative, so her boyfriend Casey Aldridge is safe!

This video, in the style of anime Akira and sampling Daft Punk’s Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, is Kayne West’s finest. The video is a departure from Hype Williams usual garish style and took three months to make. Check it out:

The chorus is the hook:

Now th-that don’t kill me
can only make me stronger.
I need you to hurry up now,
because i can’t wait much longer!

I can’t wait for the album to drop, it’s gonna be awesome!

John Mayer apologizes for the live pit bull fight he had “great success with for the past couple of weeks” after it got out of hand when the dog broke free during a song and “a lot of people got hurt.” Crying, he said, “I’m sorry.”

We’re confused–we thought he was a singer, not a glam rock act?

We’re not satisfied with Akon’s song Sorry, Blame It On Me, which you can listen to online in mp3. First, the drum beats and backing are so cheesy we know he hacked this up in a day for publicities sake, not because he actually is sorry. Second, check out what the lyrics are:

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

Tranlsation: I’m Akon, and because I’m not sorry, I’m absolving myself for the stuff that hasn’t even happened yet. That’s right, the scandals I cause in the future are ok–I’m apologizing now! But, it gets better:

I’m sorry I’m not always there for my son
I’m sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday

I’m sorry I’m a deadbeat dad and lousy husband, but I’m keeping it real! I’m real in the streets! I don’t need no family!

I understand that there are some problems
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

A good translation of this line from Akonglish to English would realize that it’s a not-so-subtle way of proclaiming “This is how it is; you better learn to live with it, because it’s how I am.” Well, Akon may be able to say “Blame me” and not give a shit, but we know better. This song isn’t a real apology, it’s a sham.

“It’s like a rain forest, like Jurassic Park, except I’m your sex-a-saurus baby”

Why is it everytime he opens his mouth and sings, his lyrics are ridiculous and nonsensical?