The Gossip Rag: Celebrity life, photos, gossip, and news

We’re not satisfied with Akon’s song Sorry, Blame It On Me, which you can listen to online in mp3. First, the drum beats and backing are so cheesy we know he hacked this up in a day for publicities sake, not because he actually is sorry. Second, check out what the lyrics are:

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

Tranlsation: I’m Akon, and because I’m not sorry, I’m absolving myself for the stuff that hasn’t even happened yet. That’s right, the scandals I cause in the future are ok–I’m apologizing now! But, it gets better:

I’m sorry I’m not always there for my son
I’m sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday

I’m sorry I’m a deadbeat dad and lousy husband, but I’m keeping it real! I’m real in the streets! I don’t need no family!

I understand that there are some problems
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

A good translation of this line from Akonglish to English would realize that it’s a not-so-subtle way of proclaiming “This is how it is; you better learn to live with it, because it’s how I am.” Well, Akon may be able to say “Blame me” and not give a shit, but we know better. This song isn’t a real apology, it’s a sham.

After being dropped by Verizon, Akon (Aliaune Thiam) issued a public apology for the incident at the Zen nightclub in Trinidad where he simulated sex with an underage girl:

“First, and most important to me, I want to sincerely apologize for the embarrassment and any pain I’ve caused to the young woman who joined me on-stage, her family and the Trinidad community for the events at my concert in Port of Spain on April 12th. It was never my intention to embarrass or take advantage of my fans in any way, especially those under the age of 18. That is why we tried to make sure that the club did not admit anyone under 18 in the audience. Somehow, that standard was not met.”

The girl, age 14, is Danah Alleyne who uploaded the following photo to her MySpace account with the caption “girls nite out! best time!!”, according to TMZ:

If you want to see the video that sparked all this mess, Shout Mouth has it. It’s odd that a 14 year old girl claiming to be 15 years old would be admitted to a club where you should be at least 18 or 21 (I’m not sure which). Apparently they only checked ID in the VIP section. The long, conflicting, story can be read in it’s entirety at Hollywood Grind… whose name sounds like a really bad pun for a story like this.

On her MySpace page she claims to be 19. She certainly looks older than 14 to me:

After this, the pastor’s daughter probably won’t be going clubbing for a long time. Hopefully her parents have suitably grounded her and explained to her what rap stars like to do on stage.

There’s a CNN story about R Kelly’s magical escape from Justice. It highlights:

How Singer R. Kelly has been waiting five years for his sex-tape trial. In that time, he has made six albums and gone on three tours. Kelly will appear Friday for a status hearing in a Chicago courtroom. Judge’s fall from ladder, appendicitis, busy lawyer contribute to delays.

It has be hard to live with a trial looming over you, but for R Kelly it may be a litigation advantage:

Kelly’s lawyers may figure that the delays have worked in their client’s favor, and not only because they’ve given him the chance to keep working and making millions. “You may have a jury that’s going to come in and say, ‘So this happened in the 1990s and this is 2007? I’m just not buying it,”‘ Helfand said.

You can go check out the CNN story for more sordid details. Given his predilection for young women–Aaliyah who was 15, for example, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a conviction and 15 wonderful years without another Sex in the Kitchen.

Rapper Mims is flat-out broke, most likely because he wrote a song called This is why I’m hot with lyrics like:

I’m hot cause I’m fly,
You ain’t cause you not!
This is why I’m hot!

Then, just seconds later, we get this gem:

This is why I’m hot:
I don’t gotta rap!
I can make a mil saying nothing on the track!

It’s clear now that he should have shut up and made that million, because his album which sold just 145k copies didn’t make enough to offset all the expensive consumer goods he bought anticipating his own musical success. Instead of bringing NYC back, ONTD says he’s dug a hole for himself and his career:

Now, this rapper is in debt with jewelers, casinos and creditors. It’s doubtful that he can recover because he alienates the people who can help him: Promoters, agents and the fans who buy his music. It seems as if he has an intense hatred for his fans, he’s been in numerous unreported altercations with fans who simply ask for his autograph. He or his bodyguard-either curse out fans, push them aside roughly or threaten them with their lives.

Bonus music video:

There are two lessons to learn. (1) Learn how to write real lyrics. (2) Don’t rap with your name as an acronym. Then you’ll make a mil!

Timbaland just dropped his new album Shock Value, which has 4 stars on Amazon and 4.5 on iTunes. It’s currently selling #1 on iTunes and #28 on Amazon.

We hear he cuts Scott Storch a new one on one of the tracks, so get out and give it a listen! Tim-unit? Sigh… The good news is he has tracks with Elton John, 50 Cent, Tony Yayo, Fall Out Boy, Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, Keri Hilson, Nicole Scherzinger, Magoo, Dr. Dre, Sebastion, and The Hives. There hasn’t been an album with this many guest stars since the last Santana album!